Tagheyyur.

He said I am confused about my direction. He left me questioning myself and my ideas. I asked him to specify but he changed the subject so I have to figure it out on my own. He is right to think that way. I don't judge his judgement. But I know that there's lack of understanding in this statement. It's okay. I will not explain myself because its of no use.  I have things on my mind but that is not enough. One has to have time and presence of mind to turn those ideas into actions. Yes I am always talking (to myself about doing this and that) but its all talking and he doesn't see any thing substantial so he is right in a way.  But who is going to change it. When am I going to have 'enough' time to have my ideas come true. Nobody tells me that.  What did I want to say? Why did I come here? I just wanted to let it out to keep me going I guess. It gets quite strenuous to keep your mouth shut for hours on end. I have been reading a lot these days. But I c...

I am usually rude, mean, angry and moody with the kids. I take out my frustrations on them fully aware that I shouldn't be doing it but carrying on anyway after holding it inside me longer than necessary. Lately I have been trying to be patient with the kids. I see this transformation in my three year old as well. With me, he is also trying to control himself. Even going a step ahead by offering compassion to me. He surprises me. With Winter around the corner, I insist on eating everything warm (read hot). "It's medicine when taken warmer." I tell them. And they both accept it grumping about. So my three old had his egg and I didn't, I didn't feel like eating it. He saw it and came to me; "You didn't eat it? Meine bhe khal lia, affan ne bhe kha lia. Ap thanda khaengi to tabyat kharab ho jaegi. Phir mein apko dawayi nahin dunga." And my heart burst with I don't know what not. Yes, I become cruel and tell them that if they wet their clothes or...

The second chapter of Aazadi book is about the first stage of active struggle of Muslims. This period is from 1886-1906 Syed's personality in that period towers over others. This stage is twenty year long and all of these years are brimming with Syed's efforts. His efforts are defined beautifully by Iqbal that his ideas were so huge that they needed several generations to gradually unfold and reveal their consequences. The society free of want and poverty was the only goal behind every effort of Syed and it is unfolding even now after more than a hundred years. He introduced the everlasting good which was in fact the soul of all human beings and which was going to be the centre of attention of our ancestors. All of their efforts revolve around her. This period gave us the manifestation of consensus also. Canada came into being through dialogue and. Nobody imagined that, especially Britishers, after more than 50 years another state would come into being. Sy...